I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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