I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
