tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize