He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
