I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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