i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
