have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
