i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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