is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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