He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
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keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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