I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Too much gin, very little bucket
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
