nut hugger
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
