you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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