is your mom at the bar?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
