I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
