we have officially lost it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You can't motorboat a personality
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
