Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
