I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize