i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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