It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
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By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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