More tranny stories later!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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