Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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