u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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