Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
