8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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