i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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