The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
