Non-Jews are for practice
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
