im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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