we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
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We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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