How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My cat gives me a boner
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
