Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
