Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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