Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My bed smells like the plague
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
