please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize