I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
