ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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