Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So vagazzling was a success
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
