Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
