need another drink. this is the easiest way
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
