i would punch a child for taco bell
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Terrible idea I love it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
