the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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