ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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