YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
