Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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