yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
