that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
