I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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