you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
