scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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