just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize