He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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