i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
