Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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