There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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