I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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