the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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