Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ladies don't puke and tell
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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