Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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