i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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