were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
