I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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