batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
