I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
